A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
--Submitted by Cicec

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
-- Groucho Marx

Patient: Doctor, I think I'm a dog.
Psychiatrist: Ah. Get onto the couch.
Patient: I'm not allowed.

Two men are approaching each other, both are dragging their right foot. One man looks at the other knowingly and says "Vietnam, 1969". The other points his thumb behind him, "Dog crap, 20 feet back".

Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?

A: K9P.

Q: How can you tell if you have a stupid dog?

A: It chases parked cars.